Binging After Fasting - Please Help

by Evelyn
(Albany)

Hi everyone:

I will preface this by saying that a lot of fasting experts warn about fasting if you have a history of an eating disorder, and maybe I am an example of why this is. I had researched water fasting for several weeks prior to embarking on a 21 day water fast.

I had developed really bad eating habits, was bulimic for 2 years but binging and purging worse than ever, and was trying to kick a nasty addiction to food (namely carbohydrates and sugar!!) after being on an excellent vegetarian diet of mostly raw foods and lean protein sources for several years.

Well, I planned for 30 days, only made it 21, but thought that would be adequate because that is the amount of time people tell you it takes to change a habit or behavior. Nevertheless, as soon as the fast was over, I was binging like crazy.

Cakes and cookies and icing, cheeseburgers, tacos, anything that was fatty and disgusting, containers of cream cheese, BUTTER from the container with a spoon, blocks of cheese, eating until I was sick and couldn't move, but then eating even more.

Initially I was able to rationalize it, figuring that my body was bouncing back, and that I had "earned" it, but it went too far and lasted for 7 of the most horrible binging days ever.

After that, I was mortified, and wanted to fast for another 10 days to "finish" the fast, but only made it 6 days, and the same thing happened. It is now 5 days after the fast, and I just stopped binging. I am so ashamed and angry at myself. I went from 117 lbs on the last day of my fast to 143 lbs today.

I have such horrible water retention and bloating and feel like a disgusting pig. I have MOST CERTAINLY replenished my proteins and calories, and so I am determined to do it again. I am on day 1, and want to go another 20 days. Has anyone had any experiences like this before?

I know that most people are smart enough to not want to ruin what they worked so hard for. Well, not me I guess!! Also, they tell you that your metabolism is slow for the first 4-6 weeks after the fast, so I though that would scare me into eating better, but apparently not. Please help!

Is fasting again even a good idea, or am I headed for a horrible cycle of fasting and binging? It feels SO good to be able to eat whatever you want after 20 days of not eating, but it is not going to be worth it in the long run.

I know this....THANK YOU!