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Fasting Motivation Needed - Struggling With Hunger & Symptoms - Am I Destined to Be Obese All My Life?

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Jan 13, 2010
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GLAD TO SUPPORT
by: Anonymous

Hi, Amanda,

I'm writing to encourage you with the idea that if you stick with fasting, or even just trying to fast, you will achieve your goals, not overnight, but perhaps a lot more quickly than you think.

I find that when I set a timetable for myself to achieve various steps toward fasting -- such as cleaning up my diet and getting committed to eating small meals well spaced apart, of non-triggering food (and this can also be achieved gradually) it at first seems unsatisfying but then seems quite acceptable. I have tried and tried and tried to fast.

I have always had to scale back and go on a committed program of fasting weekly and making my fasts longer each time. I have twice worked my way up to fasting 4 1/2 or so days this way.

It took months. The process was a process of learning , interestingly, to find a way to refrain from overeating IN BETWEEN fasts. The lessons I have had to learn in order to become a successful faster I am still trying to learn -- but I know what they are now.

I have a long slow process to go through. It is so hard to stay in control when not actually fasting -- yet this is what I must learn to do. I have clarity that I just go back to the same patterns again and again and again.

And that these patterns are reinforced by thinking that leads me to indulge -- I don't know of a gentler word for it right now -- in panic, which pushes me toward the food as a drug. I get the sense that I have to tame my thinking, and in the past couple of days, I really have.

I don't know if what I am going to say next will make sense after what I have just expressed, but I am struggling to fast myself right now.

I have achieved a 42-hour fast most recently (several days ago). Next up would be a 48-hour fast. But I have been given a gift of greater motivation (through sadness and grief, it seems) by the coming of my 40th birthday, which is tomorrow.

I want to decide, deep down, and did achieve this decision just 2 days ago, that I am finished living as a food addict and will commit to non-triggering foods only, in small meals well spaced apart.

I embarked on what was to be a 48-hour fast. I wanted to end this fast tonight and immediately begin about a 5-day fast for my birthday.

I want to be a success. I want to be a success on my 40th birthday. I want to look young again. I want to take a ten-day fast for this most important birthday.

Jan 13, 2010
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Glad To Support
by: Anonymous

I feel so sad, and I want to do something for myself that makes me feel good. Fasting would be such an achievement. So I am writing for support, really, and not just to reach out and connect/give what encouragement I can.

I am sensitive because I know that my thinking could easily be criticized as perfectionist, all-or-nothing, and probably provocative of deep disappointment and real self-sabotage. yet I am just not able to let go of the idea of a long, self-honoring fast for my birthday.

I had such motivation for this a day or so ago. it was a deep, genuine motivation (the kind that makes me a bit nauseous right now). But I have got somehow to get some motivation back.

So, I was saying, i attempted a 48 hour fast that was to end tonight and intended immediately after a break-of-fast , moderate , non-triggering meal, to embark on the Long Birthday Fast. However - I broke the fast this morning. I cannot even say why. i am exhausted from the process.

I stayed mostly on my new, non-triggering diet but ate about 180 calories more for the meal than I was committed to. And I ate fruit, which was traumatic for my system and one of the foods I had definitively given up. I do not know what to do or where to turn.

Right now I just want to have meal this evening and then start a ten-day fast. I just want to do it. But I cannot feel the really powerful motivation I feel I need. I am just defeated and feel hopeless. I wanted to become a success on my 40th birthday.

I wanted this particular marker of success, the long fast. I am crying as I write this. It seems I have been denied any kind of success in life at all. I can't even successfully have relationships.

The thing is, I am thinking of "coaxing myself" into the long fast by eating a meal that would include "treats" which I am supposed to have given up. This isn't recommended. But I see no other way to proceed.

I can commit to giving up the treats immediately after the meal - but having them in my system will make fasting harder.. though I do know that it can be fine even to begin a fast with a binge -- I have read fasting testimonials that narrate such stories.

One that really affected me was a story of a man who went on a 42-day fast and the night before starting ate a huge meal at a restaurant and make himself very ill. But his fast was successful and transformative.

Jan 13, 2010
Rating

Glad To Support
by: Anonymous

I am so tired, and I am so stressed, and I have so much to do, and fasting is such a part of my identity, such a focus of my life, that I cannot simply put it aside.

I have had such poor health that I have made the -- positive! -- decision just to focus all my energies on learning how to be food-sober, if you will, and fast. It does no good, therefore, for someone to say to me: oh, just don't fast for now. This will never do.

Well, please write me, lcatht@gmail.com if you would like to stay in touch and support each other. I am going to, I am determined to, finish my day and take this meal sanely and begin my Long Birthday Fast, and be a success.

I have got to figure out how to get past my despair that sets in and tells me I can't go on, when I am in a fast. I do not see how to do this. I just do not see how I can do it. I am putting this out there so that I will come to see a way.

So, write to me, ok? (and if you sent me a birthday greeting I'd be happy, too!)

Warm regards
Laura

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