Wishing I had never heard about fasting!

by Sabrina
(Oakland, CA)

I know that many people visit this forum to learn about fasting, and there are probably many success stories that may give them motivation.

I hate to share my trials and tribulations, and talk about the "downside" of fasting, but maybe it will provide a different perspective.

I had struggled with binge eating, anorexia, and bulimia in the past, and after I gained a significant amount of weight, I turned to fasting to help me break the binging and purging cycle. At that time, I had been an avid runner, and exercised daily.

I was torn at the time whether or not I should "break the cycle" of running, because it just wasn't possible to do such intensive exercise during a long fast. I didn't want to risk getting out of shape, but the benefits of fasting seemed too good to resist. SO I fasted--for 20 days, and for the first time in 14 months, didn't run for the whole time.

After I broke my fast, I gained all the weight back and more. I couldn't eat anything without it turning to fat on my body. Furthermore, when I went back to running, I was exhausted and tired....I lost motivation for exercise, and I stopped going to the gym.

Over the course of the past year, I have gained 50 lbs. I am a fat, lazy slob, and I am addicted to fat. I tried the Atkins diet, so I have luckily stopped binging on carbs, and I am in ketosis most of the time, but I consume SO many calories, and eat so much PURE FAT, that I will always gain weight.

I am disgusted to say that I am addicted to things like butter and mayonnaise, and anything that is pure fat. I have eaten at least 2 containers of spreadable butter PER NIGHT over the last 3 months, and I can't stop.

I can eat a jar of mayonnaise with a spoon in a single night. When I try to stop, I can make it until 2 or 3 am, and then I wake up because my body is craving fat, and the butter is soothing to me and makes me go back to sleep.

I always "justify" my eating habits by saying that I will turn to fasting the next day--but it's been 12 months, and it never happens.

So, if you think "I'll eat this now because I'm fasting starting tomorrow" and then are never strong enough to follow through with the fast, fasting becomes evil. It takes a strong person to follow through with it, and if you are so weak in the first place that you rely on food for comfort, and sleep, you will most likely not be able to stick with it.

I WISH I HAD NEVER HEARD OF FASTING!!! I would never have stopped running, and I wouldn't be as apt to eat "evil" foods because I know that I'd have to live with the consequences the next day and not make the excuse that "I'll be fasting tomorrow".

Don't get into this same cycle that I have....PLEASE do not attempt to fast unless you are EXTREMELY disciplined, and do not do it if you have any sort of "disordered" eating habits.