If you wish to read the previous entry, go to Fasting Experience Day ONE. .
Hunger Pain Attack
Last night I woke up at around 3:00 AM with fierce hunger pains. If the stomach could talk it would be yelling at the top of its lungs.
This food fasting episode was blinding. I spent a few minutes rummaging through the refrigerator in search of a treat.
My particular weakness through my many years of middle-of-the-night binging was pastries, cookies, peanut butter & jelly sandwiches and large glasses of milk and orange juice (I could often drink an entire gallon of orange juice or milk in one night).
But I had cleared everything from the refrigerator a few days prior, with the exception of two bags of apples and several six packs of seltzer water, lime and some gallons of regular drinking water. That was it.
Still, I continued to search frantically in hopes I would find something I had missed. Lucky for me, I did not miss anything. I am sure, however, that tomorrow night I may search yet again. After ransacking the fridge and cupboards looking for food, I went to the bedroom and started getting dressed to hit the donut shop down the street.
My cat just sat there looking up at me as if I was crazy. I felt crazy. It then occurred to me that addicts and alcoholics often felt this same sensation. Fear of relapse to the old obese, destructive life sobered me a bit. I knew that the guilt, remorse and feeling of hopelessness would hit me hard and fast once the donut went down my throat.
I drank a large swig of water and went back to bed. It took me about half-an-hour to fall asleep as the mind continued its argument in favor of ice cream, pizza and cheeseburgers.
"Perhaps you can go to an all-night burger joint down the street," it told me. "We just want you to know that we know the burger joint is there if you decide to stop this food fasting idiocy."
I fell asleep very slowly while my stomach pulsated with the most intense hunger pangs I have felt in quite a while. Such is the path of food fasting. This is where many people give up. Why didn't I give up? Because I have been through these attacks many times before. They always pass and I love the feeling of victory that I get when I stick to my guns.
The morning of this Day 2 fasting experience was a little better. Hunger pains were still there, but not as sharp as the night before.
I drank some Herbs & Prunes.
Herbs & Prunes is an excellent cleansing supplement that always fosters notable bowel movements within three to six hours. Black Tea helps to calm the nervous system and gives me mental clarity to continue walking through the withdrawal and hunger pains, which could continue up until day 9 or 11.
I know that some fasting experts look down on me for endorsing green and even chamomile tea. They indicate that anything barring water is not 'pure' fasting. I say the hell with it: whatever I can take to help me get through these valleys, I will take it - SO LONG as it doesn't interrupt ketosis.
Some people stop feeling hungry in as little as three days of fasting. I can only pray that such is the case with me. Green tea has properties that increase body temperature and has been know to aid in weight loss. You can go to Green Tea Weight Loss for more on how this can help food fasting efforts.
The hunger pains are tolerable at this moment, but emotionally I am feeling very sad and lost. There are many uncertain areas in my life and I realize that I have been using food to cover up much fear and lack of hope.
It is easy to focus on the body by gorging so I do not have to look around and address other areas of my life. This is the case with me. But I am pressing on nonetheless with this food fasting experience.
Another "foe" that is becoming more and more apparent in this food fasting experience is TIME. The road ahead seems so long and arduous. I look at my huge belly and feel like the task at hand is overwhelming.
Time seems to stand still when one is food fasting.
I make a very strong effort to keep my mind away from clocks and watches. Focusing on 'how much longer I still have to go' simply injects frustration and anger. And I know all-to-well that these emotions can easily lead me to break the food fasting prematurely.
It is important at this point to stay focused as much as possible on the here and now; not allow my mind to venture into the future and thus fill me with fear, doubt and unbelief. Just for this very moment, I am hanging in there. That is what matters and what I want to stay focused on.
I ate an apple and drank some seltzer water. My stomach is in neutral and the food fasting hunger pains are manageable.
During the afternoon I went to the Tai Chi classes to maintain a sense of normalcy in my schedule while food fasting. Overall, I am noticing that the hunger pains come in pulsations.
In other words, everything seems to be alright then, suddenly, intense hunger pulsations hit me out of nowhere. So far, however, they have not lasted for more than roughly 15 minutes.
When they strike, I open a seltzer water with lime or take a large drink of water from the plastic gallon. Today I also have eaten three apples. Apples are my favorite and I can carry them around in my briefcase wherever I go, which is good.
I try to stay away from bananas because I love them so much and can easily overindulge. Food fasting with apples and pears works the best for me, I have noticed. I also spent some time stretching on the floor. Due to my weight I developed lower back problems and some type of sprained muscle in the heels of my feet.
I learned from a fasting old timer that stretching while food fasting was very good because it loosened the muscles at the same time that the weight comes off.
Earlier, as I was driving to the Tai Chi class, I also noticed intense feelings of anger and bitterness hit me like a ton of bricks. Everything around me bothered me and I had a stream of negative thoughts rush through me.
That I was not gonna make it. That my life was going nowhere. That it was all hopeless and useless. But, thank God, I am aware that these voices are but ghosts trying to keep me down and thwart my efforts. Within a half hour the anger was gone, although I do feel a lingering sadness.
For about one hour I also became very weak and developed a slight temperature, but it did not last. I had one main bowel movement in the early afternoon, but nothing else since then.
I will start weighing myself in tomorrow.
Overall, the day was tough and had its moments of intense hunger pain, anger and uncertainty. Yet my awareness that these symptoms are normal really saved the day.
I know that eventually all the symptoms will disappear and I will feel better than ever. I can't wait. That oasis still seems like a million miles away. I hope to sleep well and not experience the same hunger pain attacks that hit me yesterday.
I drank a cup of black tea and am turning in. I feel determined yet scared at the same time. The food fasting quest continues in Day Three of Fasting to Lose Weight.